Ambush, Shilpa Shetty, Fannyshack and Love It!!

Have managed to bag myself a few gigs in one day.
Going back to Vienna for the opening of a new gay night with Boy George, 1 in New York (a second looking probable) and booked for my first solo revue show in London.

I’m not going to go into it here what I’m doing for my revue as I have recently read on the internet that someone is doing a show based on an idea I had but never got off the ground. Will have to learn to keep my big mouth shut eh? Basically it will be a little different to what you’re used to, turning things up a notch.
All in all, things looking good!

Went to Nottingham last Thursday for a bit of a jolly. Some of the boys from GYBO (music mong board I frequent, though we don‘t talk much about music anymore. Just waffle about what we had for breakfast and pop culture) were DJing for Ambush at The Social.
My Baby Josh Console (I love this boy), Stinkin Rich, Mike and Johnny from Cartel Communique, Andy Dunproofin & Richie Culturedeluxe (who came down from Aberdeen and are the guys behind my Trannyshack track, Two Magdalene Fuckers as E-Jitz), Oli & Chris from Birmingham, LV15 and myself went down/up for a knees up.

Cartel played their usual set (which is not a good thing nor a bad thing) Josh was super but by the end I was hankering for some cheese. Shame Dunproofin’s set was cut short as he was cooking up a rather damn fine storm.

After being kicked out and recording (VIDEO REMOVED) of Rich and Josh we popped back to our host Matt’s house for a bit before going to another party. Though I wouldn’t call students watching cricket while old rave stuff (which perked me up no end) was being played in the kitchen on a dinky stereo can be described as a party.
Very fun and silly night.

Pictures here. They aren't kind.

Shouldn’t have gone out last night as I let something get to me that was really nothing. Even more annoying was having to walk home from Liverpool Street as there were no buses as the whole area had been shut down.
On the flip side, I popped into Melange on the way to see if anyone had handed in my Venetian mask on the off chance after I lost it there DJing last week. And yes!! I’ve got it back. Huzzah!

My flat mate (the nice fun one, not the bitch loony one) has just moved out. Just as I was getting used to and enjoying her company she has got herself her own flat. I won’t miss her continually asking “what’s happening?” during films and screaming down the phone in Spanish but she is a really sweet and talented girl and I’ll miss her being around.
She’s a very good artist and have encouraged her to get a web site or myspace sorted. Watch out for the name Angela Jack. She’s very good.

Next week are two photos shoots for the Trannyshack UK Greatest Tits Album launch which should be a giggle and a show at the ‘Shack for Lady Lloyds Birthday Bonanza that I'm doing with the amazing Suppositori Spelling.
We’ve been meaning to work together for a while but have finally got something sussed.

Oh and I’ve also been asked to appear in trashy housewife’s favourite ‘Love It’ magazine in my Domina guise. I said no to Trisha but this could be bloody hilarious!!

And there will be pics and a profile of me up on the Blitz Kidz web site soon. Woo! One extreme to the other eh?!!

Celebrity Big Brother finally finishes tonight and this one has given me a lot of fuel for my Masters thesis. If you are British, it would have been hard not to be aware of the public outcry it has provoked around the racism issue. Personally I was more concerned about the bullying of Shilpa Shetty but in a way the media woo haa has highlighted the ignorance and the passive aggressive racism of many in this country. If it points out to people that it is not cool to say such things, then surely it in a roundabout way is a good thing.

I’d like to think that this show will kill off the careers of Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd and Jo O'Meara (and numerous paint by numbers wannbee celebrity for celebrity sake types) but I’ve a horrible feeling that it will generate more sales of trash mags once the fire has died down.
Kate Moss has done well out of media scandal and is now worth twice as much as she was before the whole cocaine debacle. This is a different issue but only time will tell.

To win? I would like Jermaine Jackson to win but think Shilpa deserves to. She stood her ground with dignity, grace and class while the three cackling wenches bullied her and that deserves a prize of some kind.


New York...

Was supposed to go with my old college for an touring art exhibition to NYC but there was a bit of a broohaha with the booking so I'm making my own way there.
Yep-booked my tickets and will be there from 27 March to 4 April.

Last night, Bastard at 93 Feet East was rammed. Got there quite late but saw La Phaze who were very good and Loo and Placido knocked out an excellent set. I usually get irritated if I hear a whole set of bootlegs but was really great stuff. The French boys pwned big time.

Then onto the All You Can Eat Slumber Party to play some tunes at Melange. It's an ace venue, the basement is grubby, grungy, dark and sweaty-prefer that kind of place to shinny clubs.
The amp went down while I was going back to back with Jim Warboy but once it was up, people danced and hollered so think it went pretty well. My mission is to always get the buggers dancing so mission accomplished :-)

Played a new bootleg I knocked up for my good buddy Tom for helping me out when my bag was stolen last Sunday;

Daft Punk - Crescendolls vs. Indeep - Last Night a DJ Saved My Life and a little bit of Ru Paul-Supermodel.

I wanted to glitch up the vocals but I have no idea how to but it still went down pretty well.
Have decided to put up a few of the boots I've made on Multiply
Clicky here should you want to hear the carnage for yourselves. Simple A over Bs as my production skills are nil. Can hear things in my head being amazing but I haven't got the patience to learn the skills.

Was a really good night in all except Tom got his phone nicked, someone went through my bag and chucked my clothes around the area behind the DJ box and my Venetian mask thing went missing (but the later might have had something to do with me being quite stoned).
Unbelievable, I have my bag nicked and Tom's phone goes walkies within a week. We're cursed!

Said it before kids but the bastards are everywhere - keep check of yer bits.


Thieving cunty bastards

Went out last night to Bloggers Delight and had a jolly time until some thieving twat stole my bag in The Elephant's Head (it's a pub on Camden High Street, not a euphemism).

Bag was right next to me on a bench and they managed to get it within 5 minutes of me opening it and going it to check again. Clever sods. And I'm usually pretty vigilant with these kinds of things.

New Carhartt wallet, all my cards, only about £8 in cash though, keys (with my cherished acid smiley key ring, over 15 years old) , 3 week old phone, brand spanking new leather gloves, makeup etc etc….

Have only just managed to get back into my flat. Braving Victoria station this morning wasn't pleasant I can tell you (though a nice man gave me a free Innocent Smoothie which was nice).

Orange want £100 to replace my phone which they can swing for so will have to make do with a shitty old one-ho hum.
I've lost a whole heap of numbers from some of you good folk on here so if you could send them to me, that would be grand.

What load of old knob rot 2007 is turning out to be so far.

Keep your eyes on your things kids-the fuckers are everywhere.


New Year, New Celeb Big Brother...

Happy New Year! Birthday really was ace except for my flat mate trying to dry hump my two current best boy pals Rich and Tom at the after party and constantly turning the music on full whack at 9 in the morning when everyone was trying to have a little doze.

Really surprised how well it all went. Not everyone who said they’d come did (quelle surprise) but if they had, there wouldn’t have been any room anyway because the place was packed out and jumping most of the night. Pure messy.

NYE was also a surprise. Had no intention of doing anything but ended up in South London on a bit of a mission, watching the stunning fireworks from behind the London Eye (police had blocked everything off), drifting around in a stoned stupor before more beer and retiring back to mine for silliness which turned sour due to paranoia and…I dunno.
Some people should not be allowed anywhere near drugs. All drugs.

First client of the New Year paid me a small fortune to simply kiss and smell my wrists and hands and slap him about a bit (good work if you can get it).
He was actually quite sexy and felt like doing more but I’m a professional and don’t do any rude things with clients. They don’t see any pink bits of mine and I don’t wank them off (though they can do it themselves).
For me, it’s more about the aspect of play, control and mind fuck and only take on slaves who understand that. My private sex life is my own and seperate (and suprisingly 'normal').

Did a wee turn at Trannyshack last night. Ritzy got her dinkle out (love your shows Ritz but learn the damn words!!!) Glendora did a very unPC show and I laughed my arse off.
Was quite quiet, it being the first week of the New Year and that but was quite a giggle.

So here we go. New Year, Celeb Big Brother.

I say I watch these shows as part of my Masters research (celebrity and reality culture innit) which is partly true but its hard not to get sucked into the vacuous hole that is Big Brother.

Celeb version is more interesting as you kinda know some of these people (well…) and already have some kind of preconceived opinion of them, be it their talent or projected media persona. Putting them in a house with other egomaniacs desperate to retain or increase their ‘celebrity’ status, making them do ridiculous tasks while dressing up in outfits that wouldn’t seem out of place in Shoreditch is heightened and more comical due to their familiarity.

This year is a another line-up of virtual nobodies but an interesting mix non the less.
Here are my rather cynical first impressions of this years wannabees/contenders;

Cleo Rocos - her who did stuff with Kenny Everett (RIP)
I love her. Glamorous, well mannered and fabulous. There should be more women like this in the world. I so tire of the bitchy diva persona that older women in showbiz seem to
project. Ideal older woman in fact.

Shilpa Shetty - Bollywood lady
Very pretty but will be a revelation to see her without the 6 kilos of makeup she had on her face upon going in and will be a wreak in a week without her ‘entourage’.

Leo Sayer - Curly haired disco eternally young boy (much like Sir Clifford of Richard)
Should be amusing if a little annoying. Please no more funky house remixes. Will probably re-release Best of… after leaving.

Donny Tourette - Towers of London
Oh fuck off. Yeah real hardcore you are. Banging Peaches Geldof (snooze) and you know Leo Sayer. Ha!!! I’ve got more punk in the folds of my ring piece you posh little twat.

Carole Malone - Bitch from The Mirror
Her style of journalism is simply vile. I get her hatred for vacuous WAG culture but she seems to hate anyone with a fanny. Perfect example of past it older woman resenting younger prettier girls doing what they have with what they’ve got.

Ken Russel - British Film Director
Has made some classic films (see IMDB) and should be quite interesting.

Jermaine Jackson - Former Jackson 5 member.
Why he has decided to do this is anyone’s guess. Will probably walk after a few days after having enough of everyone asking him about his more famous brother.

Ian ‘H’ Watkins - The annoying one from Steps
Poor H. You’ll always be that twat from Steps. Gay you say? No shit.

Danielle Lloyd - Former Miss Britain bird
Famous for shagging Teddy Sheringham. The contract for your post BB experience bikini shoot for loaded, Nuts and FHM are in the post love. The OK mag deal with you and Teddy is still being drawn up.

Dirk Benedict - Face in A-Team
Hilarious entrance in a mock A-Team van. Should be inappropriate. Hope so.

Jo O'Meara - Only one with a decent voice in S-Club.
Shame she’s a bit dull (but so is Rachel Stevens and she’s done alright. All in the production though innit)
I predict a rejected Westlife ballad that goes in the latter end of the top ten off the back of BB before retiring from music to breed her dogs or appear in the Boney M musical replacing Michelle Collins

My money is on Jo winning. Non extreme, no offensive, MOR kind of characters often do.
I’m not putting any actual money on it but I know a man who has…