There are difficulties facing many in this harsh business we call show, especially those who don’t have a regular gig or job and where an artists success is often based largely on who they know, not what. We live in celebrity obsessed times where someone’s prolific status is considered to have greater validity than actual talent. Warhol crafted this idea where members of his Factory became stars for being little more than hangers on looking pretty. His prophecy that ”in the future, everyone will be world famous for fifteen minutes” is a reality not just in a wider public context but also in smaller scenes.
I find it increasingly frustrating to see self obsessed individuals ‘make it’ off the back of P.R. skills and an ability to kiss the arses of the right people while lesser known, clearly more talented people not so adept at promoting themselves miss out. There are incredible people out there paving incredible new concepts in art, music, performance and fashion but because they don’t go to the opening of every envelope or suck up to promoters, journalists and star makers, they miss out. I know I sound cynical but don’t like to see the talent go unrewarded or unacknowledged.
As for me, I know I’m not the greatest artist/singer/DJ out there but confident that I’m better than some of the dross. I’m a long way off from being old mentally or physically (though my Hyper Mobility Syndrome is getting worse and restricts me doing certain things) but I’m not going to chase jobs by schmoozing and going out in a look every night just to be seen. I’ve more than paid my dues. Yes I use myspace and the like to promote my wares but I’d like to retain a little dignity.
I’m far from perfect but it can be disheartening to be overlooked for jobs when I try my hardest at everything I do. This is an admission of vulnerability that a strong woman like me perhaps shouldn’t make on a public blog but I’m human under the façade.
In December 2007, I was listed as one of the Sunday Times Style magazine’s favourite celebrities, wedged between Anya Hindmarsh and Roberto Cavalli. While it’s flattering to be mentioned, it’s not a reflection of what my life constitutes. I shop at Lidl (great fruit and veg but their bread is shit), the only Mercedes I travel in is a number 73 bus and checking my bank balance is pretty scary. For the most part I’m very happy with my unconventional life of being an artist with little money, structure or routine but having to consistently chase random gigs here and there is tiring. I don’t want fame; I want to work and show people what I can do…….And perhaps maybe just a little recognition.