Fuck them and thier law


I’m loving the London but damn its hot! Hasn’t been this in hot in the UK since the time my Mother was pregnant with me during the summer of 1976. Might explain my 0-100 temper that sneaks out sometimes and that I sweat ridiculous amounts in all weathers. Maybe.

So after a hilarious session with a guy who I had to interrogate and torture (he said after that I was very convincing and scary. I aim to please) popped to Cargo with Richie of Diskoboxx for The Remix night. Space Cowboy did a live set (bit disappointing to be honest) and some fucker stole my digital camera. Took one photo of the band (well more of the visuals above them) and one of Rich and Rob Idiotech. Went to get it out of my bag and gone. I hope the fuckers get scratched to death by squirrels. Or chickens.

Remained quite calm for a while before becoming angry. Rich suggested we go to the rave that was going on nearby to cheer me up.

Cornered the street to see Dan and Jools who told us it had been raided by the police after just one hour. Grrrr. Bloody criminal justice act blah blah. Bit silly to have an illegal in the middle of Shoreditch really and the fact that tickets were available through ticketweb is like an open invitation to the authorities. But still.....baaaah.

Yeah its not going to be like it was ‘back in the day’ and I hate the term ‘neu rave’ (much like I dislike the term ‘mash-up) but I’m pretty chuffed there is a rave revival going on at the moment. So what if the Barleys have gotten in on the act and the much vilified by gybo band The Klaxtons have done a cover of ’The Bouncer’ (which personally I don’t have a major problem with. Was thinking of covering Human Resources ’Dominator’ (how apt) myself ).

I’m old enough to have gone to a few raves while still at school and old rave and happy hardcore (Not the ‘Bonkers’ toy town rave) is something I still listen to quite a lot.

I’m stick to the tonsils of yet another dreary boy band with guitars (can’t bear to listen to XFM much as its always The bloody Feeling, Razorlight or Kooks etc. Yawn) and house music has become so commercial and repetitively dull to the point of nausea. There must be new things to discover out there in music but I guess well shall have to keep referring to the past until it is discovered.

After running around pretty hyper from having the camera stolen and the rave being called off within 30 minutes within each other meant I needed to get high/have sex or dance my ass off.

Walked to where the police were shutting everything down and saw Jody and his brother Bayo (Baby Clyde) sitting on the floor doing a peaceful protest. Joined them for a rousing chorus of The Golden Girls theme tune, The Reynolds Girls’ ‘I’d rather Jack’ and a bit of ‘I Will Survive’. Made the coppers laugh anyway.

After a big to-do about what to do and a sneaky spliff (and watching more fighting and police carnage on Shoreditch High Street) had a beer in El Paso and went and sat in Hoxton Square. (Seems pointless to lock the gates when the place is packed with people who have just climbed over anyway.)

Were approached by some chav types if we watched any party prescriptions. Very dubious but at the price they were being offered, seemed rude to say no. So sat around the park till around 5 until retiring back to my place with Don and Rich till around 9 in the morning.

Sunday I had planned to have a BBQ at my gaf which went tits up so Dan and I had a nice meal down Broadway Market (Mediterranean place. Good food, good price, crap service) and an ice cream in the park.

Tuesday I met my good buddy Chris in Soho Square for a few drinkies before going to Too2 Much (Way Too Much more like. £14 for two vodka and cokes!) to see a reformed Culture Club with Chris (backing singer in Paleday, going under the name ‘Sam’) taking the place of Boy George.

Big shoes to fill but pulled it off very well and put on a good show plus he’s already got that gender bending thing down already. Love it. Only (*cough*) celebrity there was Henry Kelly (best known for Going for Gold-what a great show that was) who said to Chris “You were great, whatever you are”. Charming.

After we met Shane, Paul and Jason on the wall for more booze outside the church in Soho to abuse people walking past. Like overly pumped and tanned muscle fairies, a girl with bad weave having a hissy fit over dropping her phone, a beggar who called me a ‘ray-shall-ist’ for saying I wasn’t going to give him any money as his trainers were more expensive than mine (I’m also a Radishist too. Fucking Radishes.) and random queens flouncing around in the Soho heat.

Went back to Chris’ house for more vodka and lots of rounds of the card game Shithead. Silly fun.

Came back to the house with a drunk flatmate, three very pissed Brazilian blokes and a toilet floor covered with piss. Classy.

Got a call from a production company who are filming a Masterbationathon in the UK and if I fancied being a part of it. Said I’d be up for being interviewed as I fully endorse that kind of thing but not so in being filmed having a fiddle on camera.

I’m no prude but I’ve always been very careful about having any pictures of me in uncompromising situations. Its something I’ve also thought would haunt me later in life whatever I end up doing.

OK I’ve appeared in a BDSM film where I beat up a young Hungarian chap and fucked him in the bum (which I’ve still yet to see) and done stills for a book about Viennese Dominatrix (Traum Frauen by Andres Urban which means Dream Woman. Indeed.) but nobody saw any pink bits, top or bottom. Not that anyone would be interested in seeing me in the altogether anyway (shudder).

Off to Italy this weekend for a fashion show in a castle. Did a similar show in Austria and I felt for the poor makeup artists who had spent ages doing beautiful eye makeup, only for them to be covered with sunglasses.

This is also a sunglasses show with me running around being noisy on the M I C.

The company has jiggled the flights around so I’ll be staying on for two extra days in Venice to have a little adventure. Eat ice cream and stare at Latin girls swanning around. Yum.

Following week I’m off to Cornwall for a few days with the kids, Harry, Dan and Nikki. I imagine I’ll come back with a big hangover with them pesky brats.

Should be back online soon too. Friggin hope so. The blokes who run this net café are proper pervy fucks.

Cheers queers


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