Mainstream, me?

 Last night I was told three things.

1) I should go on a diet (Yes I could do with getting fit but diets do. not. work. and I'm not too bothered about my size).

2) I was the most beautiful woman in the room (By the legend that is Lady Miss Kier herself).

3) That I should go mainstream. (Wah?!)

Now while I'm not adverse to crossing over (on my own terms of course) the likeliness of this happening is utterly minuscule. Can you imagine....”And coming up next on This Morning, Tranny with a Fanny, Holestar shares her tips on boil washing nappies and making shortbread”.

But where would I be placed if I wanted to pursue mainstream success especially as I've chosen not to specialise in just one thing? 

Pop star....It's highly unlikely I'll ever be a mainstream pop star; I'm over 30, plus sized, rather outspoken and lets face it, a bit odd.
Realistically, there’s no place for me in the current market. Blandness reigns supreme and pop producers have raped the recent history of dance music and churn out sound-a-like drivel with the same pumping beat and lyrics such as 'get on the floor, put your drinks up, drink, get sexy, yeah we living it big time' ad nauseum...
So you know what, I'm going to keep on making music DIY style, perform as and when because I love it, rather than wanting to be a bland pop princess.

DJing... After my early rave education, delved into house before that turned to tacky trance. Learnt about pop, bootlegs, disco and electro which informs what I play out now. 
I was recently accused of taking DJing seriously...well yes I do. Even if I'm “just playing pop”, I still want to entertain and create as much as a storm on the dance floor as if I were performing or playing any other genre (though my ideal set would be a bit like 2 Many DJs in their early years, quality music across genres. Essentially, fun).
I bloody love music. As long as people keep booking me and dancing to my musical concoctions, then I'm more than happy to continue. 

Entertainer..... It seems incredibly tough to break the cabaret circuit as a woman unless you're doing burlesque (yawn..) or a sultry singing chanteuse and I'm neither. I gave up performance art some time ago, some of the work I did was terrible. I'm creating and sculpting every time time I drag up anyway.
At the moment, I'm currently in the midst of putting new work together that could be considered cabaret but is quite simply performance.
My early performances were live bootlegs/mashups (long before they started doing them on TV talent shows) so taking that concept and paraphrasing The Residents concept for their Commercial Album (that the best of a pop song can be summed up within a minute),  I'm creating pieces of storytelling, by compiling themed megamixes made up of various pop songs. I'll be singing cuts of different songs with a smattering of spoken and hopefully doing something a little different to standing still and singing full songs. 

So as for going mainstream, pah. Nothing I do could be placed in the current Cowell culture and I'm not inspired to adapt or chase it. I know my place, way down in the lower regions of entertainment. The best I could ever hope for is some kind of minor queer cult status, travel a bit more and continue to do what I love.

The première of my new work will be at the Applecart Festival and a few other gigs I've on the horizon (all listed on my website), festival season looking juicy too. 
See you in a tent, club or on the dancefloor.