Never won a thing in my days but on last Saturdays (16 Dec) Horse Meat Disco's Vogue Ball - ‘Vauxhall Is Gurning’ I won the John Waters homage category!! Eeeep!

(The Ball is based on the film Paris is Burning where various ‘Houses’ walk down the runway and do their thing in different categories. Madonna pinched Voguing from it.)

I did Divine in Pink Flamingos (though would have liked to have done Connie Marble but couldn’t find a green suit) and referenced certain parts of the film. Kind of obvious really but I love Mr Glen Milstead and have never done a Divine look on purpose before.

After walking down the stairs and slipping over which turned it into a bit of a crawl (well you have to make the most of these situations) I then pulled out some meat (which was actually a cows luing-eww) from my knickers and threw it out to the crowd (“I warmed it up today, in my own little oven“), then chucked an egg on to the stage (“So many little eggies, and I'm still starving“) and finally the last scene from the film, brought out a toy dog which had its arse filled with Nutella and proceeded to eat its ‘poop’.
I was running around backstage so missed the whole 'egg on stage must be cleared up as it's an obstruction' palaver. My apologies to those who had to clear it up but I am an artist. Ha!

No trip to Hawaii or toaster as a prize but have got myself a nice little trophy which I’m rather chuffed about.

My photos are here though I didn’t take many. There were some great looks on show. Some shockers too.
Also pics from Fridays Xxxmas Bump which was good clean fun. (Above photo by Mathew Brindle)

Went and saw the fabulous and beautiful genius that is Patrick Wolf last night with my very good mate Rich in Union Chapel in Islington. Simply sublime.
He’s a very lovely and sweet guy and so talented it makes me want to vomit!!! First time I met him, we sat on a wall while I screamed “I’m a casserole” at people going past. Well that’s what he told me after. I was in a bit of a state…

It’s a shame he doesn’t get more mainstream exposure as he’s far better than most of a lot of singer writer dwaddle out there. He writes songs to fall in love to and will break your heart.

For some reason, Rich and I ended up at Don’t Call Me Babe at Ghetto to say hello to Dusty and Lloyd who were doing the grotto. Screaming Meatloaf and Cher’s ‘Dead ringer for love’ at each other was quite hilarious!
Typical, I take a straight man to a gay club and he cops off with a very hot young lady-sheesh!!

I’m doing a turn at Fannyshack’s Christmas do tomorrow. Did have a very funny and silly piece arranged but the person who was going to do it with me can’t so looks like I’ll be doing Two Magdalene Fuckers to plug the new Trannyshack album (Greatest Tits Part 1) instead.

Ryan Styles is also on the bill (god that boy is fantastic) and the Trannyshack girls will be doing a live version of Tranny Christmas which has one of the best final line of any song “Shag a Tranny, Up the arse cos she’s got no fanny”.

Well not if you’re a Tranny with a Fanny like me but that’s a whole different kettle of cuttlefish.

See the video here

And finally, Christmas is descending upon us again and another birthday for me a mere three days after.
I will be (cough) 30.

It’s no big deal but reaching the end of my 30s is like an end of innocence and youth. It does not mean I’ll be starting to think about settling down and wearing sensible clothes, fuck no. I’ll leave that to the breeders thanks.

I’ve done quite a lot with my short time on this planet and have a lot more to do. Oh yes yes oh yey.

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