Draggin my ass around London and Vienna

Life is up and down like a whores knickers but on the whole-non too bad.

Easter bank holiday weekend started with some drunken beer lariness down at The Social and then Bastard at 93 Feet East. Now I was very sceptical about Bastard being at such a venue. In the short time that I’ve been attending, the best thing about it being at The Asylum is the family attitude of the attendees. All manner of madness is encouraged and the level of pretension is nil. While 93 works for an event like Uber, I had a horrible feeling that the ‘Barleys’ down the East End just wouldn’t get it.

Inside, the Bastard regulars all hung around feeling a little lost until we commandeered an area where we could dance on the tables. Jo (Zepher) had made up some bootleg bug things to pass around and get people into the Bastard spirit but some of the trendies looked at me with distain when I attempted to give them free stuff. Meh.

Josh Console in his pink ski suit rocked as expected (few moments were too loud even for my lover of the noise ears) as did Cartel Communique and come the end of the night, the place was jumping. However. I prefer Bastard in a smaller, dingy, dirty environment where the daft people and music geeks outnumber those trying so hard to be achingly cool.
I’ll still support it as the music and people are quite fabulous. Long live Bastard wherever it goes.

Had a (regrettably) quiet Sat & Sun as I had a show at The Shadow Lounge on quite possible the worst Monday on the year. Did four rockinsh/popish boots (All other peoples, first time I’ve done that) and the second set was more disco/trash gayness.

The drunk tourists got into it and did the best I could despite a small crowd but apparently the venue said I wasn’t ‘camp enough’. Mmm. After, Toine and Chris (from Paleday) and I went to G.A.Y. to do some more drinking. God I forgot how rank that place is. Quite funny if you are pissed up though.

Following weekend was a BBQ at Superdans place out in Hayes which was a lot of fun, sitting in Green Park with Dan and Harry drinking booze and eating ice cream and was supposed to get up and watch the mad people run the marathon but got there just as they were cleaning up. Ooop.
Returned to Arthur and Helens place for a fabulous roast dinner and smoked some potpourri (well it might as well had been. Dried out to hell but still hit the spot.)

Last Wednesday I did a number at Trannyshack at Too2much as part of a Tranny Factor competition. Now I don’t really like such things (humiliation of loosing perhaps or just not competitive enough) but it was a way of getting to perform at Trannyshack and thought…well fuck it.
And fuck a duck, I won! Did the Ejitz’s (Dunproofin & Richie) ‘Two Magdelane Fuckers’ (The Smiths - How Soon is Now vs. De'lacy - Hideaway) and finished by swinging daffodils around my head for the finale when Morrisey kicks back in. So now I will be doing a track on the Trannyshack album and doing a video to go with it. Coolios. Met the lovely Dusty O, Skinny Marie, Ritzy, Glendora, (who is fucking hilarious with a capital fuck) and Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd again.

Friday I flew out to Vienna as I was Djing at PerVienne Fetish party.
Arrived late (damn delays) and was picked up by Marcos and Karl from Tiberius who drove me to Eddie’s place where we drank vodka aplenty and ‘talked to Frank’.

Saturday was shite weatherwise but popped out to get myself a few things in town and go to Tiberius to pick up a few things (opera length leather gloves, slutty red stripper shoes, a cock n balls, hand spanky thing and some lube) before having a shnitzel and piling the slap on for the gig.

The weather was foul so there was the worry that people wouldn’t turn up in their finest rubber and kink but there was a good turn out. The decks were pretty poop. Slidey drawer things. One had no pitch control and if you tried to speed up anything on the other one, it would fly off. Made do with what I had and played a lot of fun bootlegs, remixes and electrobollocks.

Had one gothy guy in a PVC skirt ask me if I could play some Depeche Mode or The Cure (well I did play Churchills ‘John the Revelator’ mix) and an American chick ask for rock music. Sufice to say they left the DJ area disapointed but ended up dancing to the stuff I played anyway.

Had some bloke in his chaps wiggle his willy at me and a few disturbed Goths looking miserable that I wasn’t playing any industrial crap but people danced and wooed which is a good thing.

Joanna, Phillip and Christoph came along to boogie (and scream 'Holestar' at me which while flattering, was quite embarrassing!) and was great to see them.
After playing for about four hours I decided to throw caution to the wind and play Phil & Dogs ‘Gay Muppet Bar’. I thought it would clear the floor but the place went bonkers-ace.

More photos

Ended up staggering to to Volksgarten after and being coaxed into doing a little singy MC set for old times sake. Was quite nice as the crowd there know me and react to my drivel and when I scream obscenities at them. Bless.

Was invited to the Hilton for Sunday brunch but slept till nearly 2 the next afternoon. Must have drank about a bottle of Stolly over the whole night.

Did a tourist walk around Vienna and took myself for dinner before meeting up with Eddie, Previn, Sandrine, Gerry, Alain, Christoph and Gernot in Felixx for a few drinkies.

Monday, went to see my kitties. Now since giving them up and allowing Ingrid to keep them, I thought I’d be fine seeing them but I burst into tears as soon as I saw Monkey.

They seemed happy to see me and I played with them for ages and lots of cuddles. Spent ages lying with my head on Monkeys belly while she purred like she was drilling for oil. Bless.
Had a nice lentil stew with Ingrid and her partner Steve (I never thought I’d put the words lentil and nice together) and more beer.

Both Monkey and Merkin (L-R) were sat on the bed in the spare room waiting for me come bed time which made me feel happy but broke my heart too. Saying goodbye this morning was so hard as they both saw me to the door and I kept picking them up feeling sorry for myself.
Thing is, I’m glad I’ve seen them in that environment and are happy. Ingrid has a huge house with a garden, something I just can’t offer them and she loves them as much as I do. She’s kindly invited me to pop and see them whenever I’m in Vienna which is cool of her to do.

After popping back to pick up my suitcase from Eddies, I was told a mystery person was taking me to the airport so popped to a café for a coffee (my first this year) and David who used to work for Gayboy turned up. Nice surprise! More delays on the way back but had a top notch time in all and wonderful to see my chums over there (but not the dull people on the U-bahn who look like they all need a good shag. Miserable buggers.)

Coming up is trying to get the funding sorted for my Fine Art Masters at Central Saint Martins (had minor nightmare last week with funding which means I won’t be able to get any from the AHRB due to late forms and Post Office fuck ups etc etc). Going to be in a British Indie flick called Gangster Kittens (as either myself or a ‘teacher’.), intend to finally work on some tracks I’ve had in my head and collaborations with others from gybo, MCing thing on Resonance FM ina few weeks and finally moving into a place in (cough) Dalston.
Not the be all and still on the look out for somewhere to live but just need somewhere for the next few months to sort myself out.

For now adieu, adieu to you and you and yours.

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