Performing at V&A and DJing FOR3IGN! this weekend...

Feeling better after my recent woohaas thanks. Getting back into it all is sorting me right out.

So....Friday
I'll be performing in 'Lift and Separate' at the V&A Museum (ooh check me!) as part of their Theatre Design exhibition.
The piece I’m involved in requires me to do a tableau and dance routine, be dressed in black leather, heels and to act like a pouty bitch…that I can do.
Friday Late: Collaborate at the V&A starts at 6.45 and we’re doing the show in the foyer at 7.30, 8.30 and 9.30. And its free!!
There’s loads of other stuff going on so should be an interesting evening.
http://www.vam.ac.uk
V&A South Kensington
Cromwell Road
London SW7 2RL

'Lift and Separate', an audio visual performance installation by Eleanor Wdowski and Katharine Heath in the foyer. An installation with live DJ inspired by Victoria Worsley's play of the same name and the museum itself exploring contorted ideals of feminine beauty through a clash of period fashions and gender performativity.


Saturday, the very first day of March….I’ll be DJing some choice tunes down at FOR3IGN! In Shorebitch and comparing wigs with Scottee and Jodie Harsh. I’m on 12.30-2

And its also….FREE! But its worth making an effort to get past the delectable Dean on the door.
http://www.myspace.com/foreignclub



Bar Music Hall
134 Curtain Road
Shoreditch
EC2A 3AR
8-2am

Living with a 5’ Stella swigging alcoholic is quite amusing (if a little tedious having to listen to her repeat the same things again and again. She's now clapping at Channel 4 news, twittering on about John Snow and that I could probably eat my dinner off my laptop.....)

Tip for the day-Don't do the "3" internet dongle thing if your room is in a basement flat despite them telling you "yes it will be fine down there". It doesn't. You will end up having to sit in your lounge listening to an alcoholic clapping at Channel 4 news……

x

PS Just as I’ve finished this, she’s screamed “cunt…bastard” into the air. My life is many things but it certainly isn’t dull eh?

When it all comes down...

Things have been pretty rough recently. I guess I was a proper shit in my former life (even though I don’t know if I believe in all that) as when it rains, it truly does pour.

December brought up personal and professional problems which was affecting the way I work but they managed to get sorted.
Unfortunately a new girl moved into my flat who had just come out of jail (I live in a housing association as I was homeless for a bit when I moved to London) who caused endless problems from day one.

Shady goings on, the smell of crack wafting through the flat, the banging of doors all day and night, fights and stealing my stuff. Then another moved in.
She is a prostitute (not that I judge what with my other line of work) with severe mental health problems, body dysmorphia, smokes heroin openly and is a former crack addict. Well she said former.

They both know each other and argue constantly, except the one time when I heard them doing a punter together while I was having a bath by candlelight…not for romantic reasons but because they had fucked up the light in there.
The first one (who shall be know known as Evil) bullies the other (Nutty) until she is a screaming mess, throwing things around the flat, breaking property and stabbing doors and walls with a knife.
I went to the olds for Christmas, Fuerteventura for my birthday and New Year and have stayed at my partners (more of that later) place since January. On the occasional night I have stayed at the crack den, it has been hellish.
One night they were slamming doors and screaming at full pelt from 10 until 3am in the morning.
They have no respect, empathy, consideration, manners or care for anyone but themselves. They have 7 kids between them, lord only knows where they are, poor things.

I first asked my housing association to move me in mid December and my Doctor wrote a letter backing it up. At first they wanted me to make an official complaint but I refused on the grounds that I feared my safety from Evil, Nutty and their dodgy cronies. It is now nearly mid February and its only now that they’ve started to take it seriously as apparently the neighbours have made complaints and police are involved.
I would leave the housing association but I can’t afford to rent in the private sector and if I stay in the system a little longer, more likely to get my own place.

I’ve tried to get on with my college work and had to do the colleges interim show at The Bargehouse (I got a nice little nod btw http://londonist.com/2008/02/_we_really_didn.php ) but with running all around London, having my computer in storage and feeling like I'm going crackers, haven’t achieved much.

On Sunday, I split up with my partner during our anniversary break away. I’ve never spoke much about her on here as that is part of my life that I wish to remain private but I’m devastated, on top of everything else.

I retuned to the crack den to find it a filthy mess, all my crockery, coffee table, glasses and mugs broken, my framed ‘Like A Virgin’ album stolen and the washing machine fucked.
I bought some milk and wrote “Fuck off and get your own yeah?” on it…being pretty fed up with anything that wasn’t nailed down being wreaked or stolen.
So when Evil finally arose from her pit with one of her chums and saw what I‘d written, she started a barrage of abuse and when I told her I wasn’t interested, to get out of my face and closed the door on her, she stood outside my door screaming and threatening me for another ten minutes. I can see why Nutty throws stuff around when she picks on her. Pure evil.

Luckily I’m staying with a friend for a bit so at least I’m safe.
Though I wouldn’t mind if Evil was bumped off. One of the nastiest, most selfish, ignorant, dishonest and ugliest people I’ve had the displeasure to meet. What sucks is that she has more rights than me.
The system and overt PC idiots help fuck ups like her who contribute nothing to society.
Nutty has just been allocated a council flat. They told me I would have to wait for a few years at least.
I sound like a Daily Mail reader but fuck em, I’m not a intentionally bad person and have remained crime free for most of my life (ok so I dabble in the occasional use of recreational illegal substances…though only twice since last summer) but reasonably decent folk like me don’t exist.
When I asked my Doctor recently if there was a way of getting subsidised massages (for my fucked up back), she said the only way was if I was a drug user or alcoholic. Nice.

So yeah…I’m feeling pretty down and have cried more in the past two months then probably 7 years (I’m not usually a weepy type). My Doctor yesterday suggested I go into the psychiatric unit at Hommerton Hospital but decided not to, those places make you worse, not better.

Mental health problems are something that people are often afraid of admitting to.
Having a broken leg, appendicitis or Hyper Mobility Syndrome (which is something I also have) are things you will probably tell others about but saying you have problems with depression is still quite anti social and taboo despite the trend of life coaches and therapists.

I was diagnosed with Dysthymic disorder after I had a breakdown and spent time in a mental health unit for nearly four weeks when I was 19.
Its something I have learned to live with for 16 years now (after having ‘episodes‘ since 15) and was told I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain and that I’d often have periods of depression.
I have had some rocky patches ever since but have done my best to deal with it. I left home at 16 and have fended for myself pretty much ever since, I’ve dragged myself out of many a hole, learned coping mechanisms and been on and off the happy pills for a long time but sometimes being strong and necking drugs no longer works.

Those very close to me know about this but like I said, its not something one usually publicly broadcasts. My depression often hits regardless of circumstances (was very happy with everything last summer but had a brief woohaa then) but with all the above going on…I feel pretty shocking.
And I’m still expected to write a first draft of my Masters thesis in 16 days.

Yes there are always people a lot worse off than myself and at least I’ve got one friend who is willing to put me up for a bit. I’m a tough old bird and I know I’ll look back at all this and laugh, or use it for inspiration for something creative (seeing Evil on a crack buzz, moping yes moping her carpet while topless was pretty funny) but for now, its pretty damn shite.

I don’t want sympathy. I don’t know if anyone will have even read this far, I’m just sounding off and oddly feel a little better for writing a lot of it down.

Now I’m off to try and start that thesis.


x

PS Thank you to all the lovely people out there who have sent messages of support. Really appreciate it.

Holestar is art....apparently

The Central St Martinis Fine Art M.A. interim show has just finished at The Bargehouse and went...well ok I guess.

I showed a video piece called 'The Show (Inter-view 1)' where I interviewed myself. Quite complicated but it was a recording of a projection and live action of an interview between my drag character and a new persona (a mix of various TV presenters and subconsciously, my sister).
During the preview, I sat next to the video and dragged myself up. From creator to creation and sang every now and then, not addressing the audience.
I filmed the audience and was interesting watching them bemused, not knowing whether to applaud or what was performance. Something I'm going to play around with.

I invited a plethora of my contacts and the Londonist.com came and reviewed the show. Unfortunately, I agree with their comments about theory over substance.
I got a nice nod at the end...all good!

Read review here Londonist.com

I keep getting asked when my next show will be and at the moment, I've not got anything planned. I really need to concentrate on my Masters degree.
I've a few projects in the pipeline and will be back back back soon. Promise.

Oooh and the crack head situation is finally getting sorted...I think

x

Holestar's Review of 2007

First of all me….And what a year!

Popped to Vienna to perform at a new gay night and get royally messed up with my good friend Eddie Cole. Need more of that.

Was a judge for the Trannyshack Drag pageant (really need to work it out this year ladies…) then it was over to perform with Jonny Woo, Ryan Styles, Booby Tuesday and Russella at Ministry of Sound for some performance art at ‘Nude’ which was conceptually brilliant and one of my favourite performances of the year.

March saw me premiere my show ‘The Insanity of Modern Celebrity’ at Soho Revue which was well received and glad to say, packed out. I repeated the show for ‘Bastard’ at ‘The Macbeth’ and sang a few songs. Different crowd but still went down well.

Then to New York and met Joan Rivers who liked my un PC gag about my glorious technicoloured sequined jacket and performed at The Cock, Area and Element. Partied with New Yorks finest freaks and fabulous all week (and popped in to see the Ed Banger guys at the Hiro Ballroom) and finally at Patricia Fields store party. I will be back New York.

Upon returning, DJed on the main floor at Heaven, performed at Egg, MCed with the Pirate Soundsystem at Nude and played Dr Hannibal Lecter in Suppositori Spellings fucked up version of The Silence of the Lambs and continuing the man drag theme, competed in the Trannyshack Drag King pageant with a character called ‘Later Ho’s…geddit?)…and won.

The Trannyshack UK album finally came out and my version and video of E-Jitz; Two Magdelene Fuckers appear on it.

DJed the final set in the main room for Button Down Disco at 93 Feet East (scary but had them jumping throughout..yay) then it was off Glastonbury Festival with NYC Downlow which was an amazing weekend of mud, Shirley Bassey, being shady in the Vogue Ball, disco, Ring Them Bells, zopoclones, photo ops, one in one out and working with one of the best group of people a girl could ask for. Devastating!

Had to pull it together to recontextualise and shoot ‘The Insanity of Modern Celebrity’ piece for the Left of Centre exhibition (you can see the dark bags under my eyes in the video) which ran until December.

Came runner up in the Bistrotheque Tranny Talent final with an edited down version of ‘Insanity’. Amazing how so many people can get rammed into that small space.

The Downlow regrouped for the Lovebox festival and a bit of Bassey action for Gay Bingo and then I promoted and hosted the Gazelland Magazine Nude issue launch party at Soho Revue which had a huge queue of chic freaks outside and had a packed dance floor until the lights went up. Hard work but a very good result.

I then had another party I’d organised on a boat for the GYBO 5^th birthday party and managed to get an array of bootleg producers/DJs from past and present (Freelance Hellraiser, Osymyso, Soundhog, Cartel Communique and many more pirates of audio).

Back again with my Kamikaze Tranny sisters for a bit of TV work, a sing song at Turnmills and the True Grit festival, an interview on BBC radio London, Red Death at Battersea Arts centre, Studio Neon, early morning quick costume changes at Trade and a quick holigay with Dusty O to Spain.

December was a whirlwind of corporate gigs and of course, the Bistrotheque Tranny Panto ‘The Xmas Factor’ under the direction of Jonny Woo. It was tough run but taught me a lot about myself as a performer.

Christmas was a quick jaunt to the olds before going on holiday with my partner to Fuerteventura which was well needed. We spent NYE on the balcony of our room watching fireworks and eating a Smartie for every bong to the countdown to 1200 (you’re supposed to do it with grapes but we didn’t have any).

I finished the year by appearing in the Sunday Times Style magazine. Under Anya Hindmarsh and above Roberto Cavalli. Non too shabby.

I’m writing my review of 2007 in my partners flat above a pub in Stockwell instead of my flat in Dalston because said flat has become a Crackney gritty reality and an unbearable place to concentrate, sleep and live. Annoying but hope to be out of there soon.

I’ve not got a lot booked for the early months of 2008 as I really have to concentrate on finishing my Fine Art Masters degree at St Martins as I’ve neglected my studies somewhat over the last few months and really need to get back on track…but I’ve some exciting projects in the mill and will be back. Oh fuck yeah!

Happy New Queer!
x

Media
Pep Magazine (Hungary), GIB Magazin (Austria), Gazelleland (USA), Sunday Times ‘Style’, Love It!, QX interview, Boyz and QX front covers, BBC2, BBC London, ITV, Nuts TV and other bits and bobs.

Favourite gigs
Daft Punk at 02 Wireless Festival (Video)
Justice (saw the live sets thrice but the second time for the launch of D.A.N.C.E. at LA2 was the best)
Prince at 02 (second time better despite Chaka Khan not turning up)
Bjork at Glastonbury.

Tracks

Justin Timberlake – My Love (Original and Diplo mix) I know it was released in '06 but this was the year I loved it. The production makes my ears melt. I know its unfashionable to like Timbaland but the man is the poop.

Justice – Phantom 2 (Original and Soulwax Mix) All about the drop

P Diddy and Christina Aguilera – Tell Me (Switch Mix) Little on the Diddy-which is a good thing

LCD Soundsytem – North American Scum/Get Innocuous

Simian Mobile Disco – Hustler

ZZT – Lower State of Consciousness (Justice Remix)

MIA – XR2

Fergie – Glamorous (Space Cowboy Mix) Hate to have her name on the list but it’s a bloody good remix and the vocals are minimal

Voodoo Chilli - Look What You You've Done To Me

Kanye West - Stronger (A-Trak Remix)

Chromeo – Tenderoni (MSTRKRFT Mix)

Mr Oizo – Transexual/Patrick 122

Herve - Cheap Thrills

Act
Justice
Go and support Ed Banger and BUY the album. A bit patchy (what the hell is Valentine?) but also my album of the year. DVNO should be a single BTW.

DJ
DJ Mehdi
Always with a smile on his face, plays party tunes for party people and is a thoroughly nice bloke too (cheers for the guestie in NYC ;-)

Label
Ed Banger (natch)

Producers
Mr Oizo, Timbaland, Switch and Herve

Colour
Fuchsia. It’s lovely.

Party
The Ed Banger party at Moonlighting. Dance dance dance!
Kavinsky EP release at Sin a close second

Injuries
Hand slammed in door at Cafe Rouge=loss of finger nail for 6 months
Slip on banana and shaving foam at Egg=concussion

Word
Generic

Items stolen
Bag in Camden, handbag in Café Rouge, wallet in Camden, various items from hotel room in Fuerteventura.

Meal
Dad’s Christmas Beef Roast
Parrots Restaurant in Sitges

Bargain
Black and white sequined dress from Dalston market that I’ve yet to make a public appearance in.

Exhibition
Anthony Gormley at The Hayward

Fucking crack heads...

Fucking crack heads...

after a rather stressful December, I went away and had a rather nice Christmas and then on holiday to Fuerteventura with my partner (been nearly a year now...cripes that's a lifetime time for me) for my birthday and New Year.

Standing on a balcony watching fireworks in warm weather drinking pink champagne with someone you love beats fighting to get to the bar and avoiding wankers who want to pull your wig off in the city.

Had a very good time but our hotel was robbed when we went for a drive to the north of the island. We think it was staff as there was no sign of a break in and when we reported my partners phone missing, they said the last calls were made to Brazil and there were Brazilians working in the….fuck we can't assume anything but it's bloody annoying non the less.

Popped to see my olds after getting back (got lots of new gaudy frocks for a pound, love the charity shops of Hereford) and then to what I have called my home for nearly two years to find the situation in the flat has become worse.

There's been theft and violence going on and I can't stick it anymore so going to leave.

I've nothing against recreational misuse of drugs but having one 'flat mate' smoking heroin like its Golden Virginia and the other ex-con smoking crack with very shady company creating havoc is beyond what drugs, for me are ultimately about; having fun.

I lost too many mates from my rave years that ended up on smack after the criminal justice act ruined the party and club land went commercial. Crack and smack are selfish, anti-social evil drugs and do nothing but destroy the lives of the user and everyone around them.

I had heroin once and enjoyed it so much that upon waking the next day and wanting more, sat bolt upright in bed and shouted to myself 'never ever again'. I can see why people get hooked. Too nice but too fucking destructive.

My computer, decks and valuables are in storage thank fuck and I'm staying with m'lady for a bit so won't be online as much as usual.

Haven't had chance to return thanks for Birthday greetings (for those who remembered), college work (no gigs for a while as I'm concentrating on writing my Fine Art Masters thesis), upload new photos or fannying about on the net (haven't downloaded any new music for a month. I have severe withdrawal).

I'm a tough girl and will get through it but this year has been pretty shite so far, let's hope the bottom end of it is better eh?

x