Holestar's Queer Manifesto

Published in the 2012 Winter Issue edition of Beige Magazine.

These are not rules merely suggestions and ideas. It's possible you won't agree with them. I do not apologise for that.

Plenty of queer academia has been written but I am a popularist. These ideas are for anyone and everyone, not a theoretical educated elite minority.

My definition of queer is being different, other. Regardless of your sexuality, gender, body, colour, race or lifestyle, if you consider yourself different or alternative to the hetronormative majority (hereby know as 'the norm'), you're queer. There are heterosexuals who are queer just as there are straight gay people.

Why queer?

I'm a biological woman, who dresses and entertains as a drag queen who is currently in a relationship with a woman. In terms of box ticking, I'm a lesbian, but it's an identity I have nothing in common with. I identify more with trans people, gay men, bisexuals, freaks, geeks, fetish types, goths and drag queens than any stereotypical media driven idea of a lesbian. My sexuality doesn't define me, neither does my gender. I call myself queer, not to be difficult, or radical, it's just who I am, a fabulous queer.

Queer may be yet another label but it allows more freedom to be anything you want to be.

Sexuality is fluid

There are openly gay men and lesbians having heterosexual sex. These people are not traitors, they are falling in love and having sex with people, not genders. Love and have sex with who ever you want to. What you do with your bits is your business. Practice safe sex, experiment, play and don't be afraid of what others think. If you're kinky, have a safe word. I particularly like “custard”.

Misogyny isn't good

It's not just the norm that perpetuate misogyny, many tired drag queens make hateful jokes about ladies genitals. You may not fancy women or want to have sex with a vagina but remember you came from one. If you have issues with your Mother or a female figure from your past, get some therapy and sort it out, don't hate on women. All genders deserve to be treated with equality and respect. Misogyny is at the route of homophobia. Casual misogyny is as unhelpful as any kind of phobia.

Express yourself don't repress yourself

Many queers congregate as a source of strength and expression. If you want to wear your difference, do it, but don't use it as armour to block yourself against the world. Enjoy your difference. Have confidence but don't confuse it with arrogance. Just because you dress outrageously, doesn't mean you automatically deserve respect, it is earned.
The norm might not understand you, the weak among them might express their confusion negatively, but remember their lives are incredibly dull and they're ignorantly happy being told what is “normal”. They are ignorant sheep, you're a smart arsed sheep dog running rings around them and an amazing one too.

Stand up for yourself

Recently, a bunch of kids shouted at me, “Are you a man or a woman?”. I replied “Does it matter?” They had no answer. In the grand scheme of things, you're not hurting anyone, it really doesn't matter.

If an ignorant sheep gives you grief, ignore them or be overly polite, nothing baffles an idiot more. They may argue “that's not normal”, define normal. Who wants to be normal anyway?

If they are violent or you are being abused, call the police and report it. If homo, queer and transphobic crimes aren't reported, the police wont do anything as their action is reliant on figures and statistics.

Celebrate yourself

You can only be the best you can be. Don't try and be someone else. Emulate your idols with caution. Radically changing yourself physically isn't going to make you happy unless you love and accept who you are first.

Try not to conform to stereotypes and pressures of body image. Humans come in a great variety of types. Wouldn't it be dull if we all looked like supermodels or muscled hunks? If people don't like how you look, sod them and leave them to their own insecurities.

Gender isn't binary

Gender isn't black and white, there are numerous shades. Gender is a social construct, designed to simplify the masses by pacifying one and empowering another. We all have varying male and female parts, not necessarily physical.

 Transgendered people should not be forced to change from one gender to another. How someone chooses to live their life should be down to individual choice however permanent, cosmetic or temporary.

Be out and proud

The more of us who are out publicly, the better for everyone, especially young people and those being bullied and abused for being different. There is strength in numbers and we're everywhere. We need more strong and fabulous queer role models in the mainstream, not just sexless camp gay men.

You may not choose to publicly announce your difference, just don't live with shame. I lived with internal homophobia for many years, confused that I had to play a role and conform to someone else’s ideals. Once I accepted myself as queer, life became a lot sunnier.

Respect yourself

If you choose to have casual sex with no strings then horray. If you're being emotionally hurt or used by someone who is ashamed of you, then walk away. They don't deserve you.

Never accept abuse or violence in a relationship, get out. On the presumption you live in the West, you have the economic power and support available to leave, there are many in the world who don't have this luxury.

So...

Be who you are. Respect yourself. Get support if you need it. Have safe sex. Cut people who bring you down out of your life. Don't take bullshit from cowards. Be nice. That's it.

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