Stop the death drug cocktails

It's a stereotype but many gay men partake in hedonism, much of which involves dancing, booze, drugs and sex....all of which are perfectly ok but this weekend, yet another gay man died of drug related causes in a sauna in Waterloo. My heart and sympathy goes out to his friends and family but when will this culture of dangerously mixing drugs end?

I'm pro drugs. I've taken plenty of party prescriptions in my time and had a bloody good time on it too (less so these days as the quality of the drugs available are simply awful and with age, the come down is rarely worth the good times). I believe in legalising and regulating drugs. Human beings have enjoyed twisting reality for thousands of years, why else would so many mind altering substances exist in nature? (I'm a firm believer that a lot of the fantastical tales in the Bible are made up from acid trips and stoned visions, making Jesus the first celebrity hippy).

This fatality is unfortunately not an isolated case. There seems to be a plethora of drug deaths currently on the London gay scene, frequently down to mixing up a deathly cocktail of drugs like MDMA, amphetamines, ketamin, alcohol, methadrone, viagra and somewhere in the mix is usually GHB, GBL and possibly crystal meth. Is it because the quality of the drugs are so crap that people feel the need to take more and more, to get that never ending high that keeps them dancing and fucking all weekend long? It's more likely to be because human beings simply aren't capable of taking enough drugs to fell an elephant.

Like I've said, I'm pro drugs but where does this destructive chain of events end? I don't believe the saunas and clubs are specifically to blame. Yes they harbor the activity of getting endlessly trashed and promote an ideal of desire and hedonism but the drug culture that surrounds it would probably still exist without them. The blame lies with ourselves.

There is a thriving scene but very little community. We need to start looking out for each other and look beyond the end of our noses.

If you are taking drugs...don't be daft. Pace them, don't take them all at once and be aware of what doesn't mix well. Be a little geeky about your consumption, look up what you are taking and what not to do with it, the internet isn't just for seeking a casual fumble (shock!). Essentially, learn to love and look after yourself..not just physically but mentally too.

I've heard of too many tales from gay men saying the reason they pump iron while fronting an acceptable face of professionalism during the week to then spend the whole weekend in a drug and sex haze is because they aren't happy with who they are and feel pressure from the media and others. If this is the case, you need to get yourself some new friends honey.

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Leaving Las Facebook

I'm divorcing my most popular profile on facebook and my goodness it feels refreshing.

Aaaah social media..whatever did we do before it came along? Went to the pub and physically spoke to each other, gossiped from behind fences or nosed from behind netting curtains if you're so inclined.

I'm a fan of it. Where else can you get a daily dose of news, current affairs, gossip, politics, music, events, TV commentary, ridiculous pictures and youtube wrongness from people you're familiar with while sitting in your underpants? I find it utterly fascinating, especially how much some people reveal about their personal lives...like millions of mini Tracey Emins seeking an appreciative audience.

After myspace failed to keep up with the kids (poor 'Tom'. He's probably sat in a dark corner, rocking while muttering “I used to be the most popular man on the internet”), everyone moved en-mass to farcebook to mix, mingle and post funny pictures of kittens.

Initially I aimed to keep my facebook profile separate from any 'Holestar' doings but it quickly became the main driving medium for promotion, pop culture opinions and waffle. As they insist on two names for personal profiles, I tried to call myself 'Hole Star' and 'This is Holestar' but a spiteful snitch (who seems to have done the same to other performers) grassed me up. Facebook accused me of using a false profile, insisted I send them a copy of my passport and that to continue to use their service, I had to use my 'real name'. I dug my heels in and managed to get away with being 'Julie Holestar'.

All was fine for a while but it has become messy and I've decided to close Julie Holestar down. There's no shade or stomping off, I've just got a point where I want more of a private and professional division on social media.

I've currently got 3703 'friends', most of whom I don't know or have never met despite my friend request criteria (do we have lots of mutual friends, similar tastes in music, culture etc and will they come to my gigs or buy my music?) and I've asked them to 'like' my Holestar page to keep in contact if they're interested in my future doings. So far, only 154 have. I don't take this personally as there is something more psychologically bonding being friends with someone, than publicly liking them. Facebook is like a mini advertising billboard and admitting you 'like' a weirdo in a wig messes with some peoples public cool factor profile.

Now it may seem silly and somewhat rude to throw away nearly four thousand contacts but it feels utterly refreshing to let go of numerous randoms who have added yet never interacted with me, tranny chasers who haven't read the small print, dull bands who are vying for business and abusive trolls (especially the one who recently threatened me with violence). If those 'friends' are genuinely interested in what I get up to, they can now find me over at www.facebook.com/mxholestar

I'll be spouting the same drivel, its just time to keep business and private self a little separate. And as it seems to be the hip thing to do these days, once the profile hits one thousand likes, I'll be giving away a free track of mine. Because I'm nice like that.

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Take Me On : Article for Beige

Article I wrote for Beige.I quite enjoy this published opinion lark

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HOLESTAR ON GAY MEN, CASUAL SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS

Holestar on Gay Men, Casual Sex and Relationships

Gay men and casual sex go together like Essex girls and orange tans, it’s a cliché but a stereotype that is often true.

A casual observer, or Daily Mail Reader, might look at popular gay media and assume that homosexual men are only interested in random sex, hedonism, all night discos playing repetitive house music and being in the gym getting that perfect body. There is nothing wrong with that lifestyle but there is very little that endorses the alternative, particularly being in a loving gay relationship.

On the flip side, gay women are almost actively encouraged to nest within a very short space of time of meeting. Judging by the lesbian press, gay women are expected to be only interested in politically correct causes, ethically sourced goods, maudlin singer songwriters, investing in a suburban property and adopting a dog, child or both.

There are numerous queer people who defy these stereotypes, though it is easy to see why people fall into them. But what of the gay couple who have been together for thirty plus years and spend their weekends watching football or the lesbian who wears six inch heels and doesn’t do second dates? To stereotype people so acutely is as tired as a drag queen telling misogynist jokes about vaginas.

Promiscuity is fine (play safe and rubber up!). A casual bonk can be quickly summoned on Grindr and discussing random sex is socially acceptable, but what about gay men who are defying the so-called accepted norm and looking for a relationship? Someone to share your ups and downs, cake, bath and Victoria Wood DVD collection with. Many gay men have confided in me that they are fed up of one nighters, cruising, saunas and cottaging and long for a boyfriend but feel embarrassed to tell others.

I’m not a dating agency and certainly don’t have all the answers, but my new show Take Me On, aims to challenge single minded sex culture in the form of a fun, boozy game show. I’m hoping to open up a dialogue about gay relationships in a fun and informal way, so gay men can out themselves (again) and admit they are looking out for love. As queers we’re automatically fabulous but it’s perfectly OK to want to want what they (the straight heteronormative majority) purports to have, though with far superior soft furnishings.

Take Me On is a gay dating game show at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on Thursday 16th and Friday 17th August at 10pm as part of the Hot AugustFringe. Prizes courtesy of Dalston Superstore http://dalstonsuperstore.com/

After Friday’s show, the RVT turns into POP! with DJ John Sizzle & Duchess of Pork where a live #takemeon Twitter feed will be screened for those wanting to join in.

By Holestar

www.holestar.com

Facebook event link https://www.facebook.com/events/131097170363276/

Ticket link http://www.ticketweb.co.uk/user?query=search&region=xxx&category=misc&search=holestar&x=0&y=0

Take Me On: Holestar’s Seven Top Tips For Finding Love

Article I wrote for This Is Cabaret regarding my new gay dating game show, Take Me On at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern.
 

Every year, more and more freaks, weirdoes, outsiders and homosexuals relocate from their small towns to the big city in search of work, stardom and love. With such a large gay scene in London, how does a modern gayer find love in the metropolis? Ahead of her new show at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, Holestar lets us in on her top tips for finding a boyfriend.

Holestar’s dating show can be seen at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on 15 and 16 August.

As many newcomers to London discover, there’s an endless buffet of sex, drugs and parties but once you’ve tired of cold cruising areas, loitering in filthy cottages and getting STDs from the sauna, you require more than sleeping in the damp patch and the empty promise of “I’ll call you”.

Grindr (other sex based sites are available) still lights up like a Christmas tree when you go out, but that random fumble doesn’t make you breakfast, buy you cupcakes or contribute to the rent (and there ain’t nothing going on but the rent). It may not be considered cool and the gay media would prefer it if you stayed single but you’ve decided: now is the time to find yourself (gasp) a boyfriend.

Few gay men are ready to admit publicly they are looking for love. Gay culture is very much driven towards casual encounters and hedonism and, while there is nothing wrong with that (especially if you use a condom), if he’s not on the dance floor or at an orgy then you’re going to have to change your tic tacs.

Here are my top seven suggestions. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

1. Get productive. Don’t be a victim. Who said this was going to be easy? He’s not going to fall into your lap while you sit there staring into your skinny latte.

2. Come out (again) as someone looking for love. There’s no point complaining to your fag hag that all men are bastards. Get out and meet people, advertise, tell your friends and put yourself out there.

3. When advertising, be honest and upfront about what you want. When you go to a restaurant, you don’t say “give me something edible”. No, you order what you enjoy. Why should dating be any different? Be direct in what you want: “I do this, I like that.” Go for what you want, don’t settle and be confident.

4. Don’t be too specific. Just because you both share a love of obscure ABBA B-Sides and organic flour, it doesn’t mean that it’s meant to be. Compatibility is more about personality and common interests than absolute ones.

5. Avoid body fascists. They’re not happy with themselves and won’t have much time for you.

6. Be honest. Cut the mind games, phone politics and childish crap.  You’re a grown man now. Talk, if you like him say so. If it’s not working out for you, say so. If this weirds him out, he clearly isn’t worth your time — move on and repeat as necessary.

7. Believe in yourself. Stay strong and keep on trucking. And if all else fails, get yourself a dog.
Alternatively, you can enter my dating show for gay men. Take Me On will be at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern on Thursday 16th and Friday 17th August as part of their Hot August Fringe. I can’t guarantee I’ll find you love, but at least we’ll have fun trying. Enter via my website www.holestar.com.

World Pride London?

2012 is a big year for London. The Queen has just had her jubilee and the Olympics are around the corner. The sandwich filling is some limp cheese and a damp lettuce leaf. This Saturday, London hosts World Pride.

Social media has been going batshit recently about London Pride going tits up (and it's been good to see people be so pasisonate about it). To summerise; What should have been a huge global event for the capital has been reduced to a bimble down the road.

   

* There will be no vehicles or floats on the procession (though shopping trolleys will be allowed, apparently).
* Procession is now starting at 11am (I’ve yet to know a queer to be awake before 12pm at the weekend...unless they are crawling out of a club or gay dolphins (all muscles, no hair) off to the gym).

* There will be no road closures or after party in Soho.
* Club owners, managers, promoters and journalists from the gay scene have publicly slated and stated no confidence in the event.
* Money was offered late in the game, but licenses were not in place.

* Boris couldn't give a crap and has blocked Peter Tatchell from speaking at the rally in Trafalgar.
* Elton Jane walked away from the Pride House proceedings some time ago.
* The chair of the board has stepped down.

All a bit embarrassing really...

World Pride London should have been the queer Olympics. The committee has had two years to sort it out and to pull the parade (now procession) this late and dress it up as “going back to it’s activist routes” so late in the game is patronising bull poop. I’d love it if it really was about marking international homophobia and injuctice but lets not forget, London Pride changed the march to ‘parade’ sometime ago...so what’s it to be? Politics or party?

Even before the shit hit the fan, the line up of entertainment was not what you’d expect from a world event. It’s all good having a few drag queens and Boy George do a turn in a Philip Treacy hat but Deborah Cox to headline? She is a fabulous singer but very few people over here have a clue who she is. To put it into context, EuroPride 2011 in Rome had Lady GaGa. (Whatever you think of her music and attention seeking, you can’t deny the girl bangs the gay drum loudly and gets mainstream press attention for it, which can only be a good thing).

Deborah Cox is from Toronto which is the next city to host World Pride in 2014. But wait...electro goddess Peaches is also from Toronto, could they not pop her over on easyjet from Berlin?
Perhaps she’s too fringe or obscure? Deborah has 43k likes on Facebook, Peaches has 245k. Facebook 'likes' are hardly a reliable taste or quality gauge but that’s one hell of a difference and how queer is Peaches?! (Other Canadian popstars that could have been considered; Nelly Furtado, K.D. Lang, Celine Dion, Alanis Morissette, Shania Twain, Avril Lavine and everyone’s favorite lesbian, Justin Bieber).

Moving on to the afterparty....the official London World Pride after bash is porn star buffet, HustlaBall, sponsored by Rentboy.com. Well that's inclusive (...sound the sarcasm klaxon).

HustlaBalls does not represent most of London based LGBTQI people, only a mere commodifiable fraction. Sex sells but the assumption that every gay male is a waxed, hung and available is outdated and clichéd. (I’ll stop here. I’ve already rambled about this on another blog)

Pride used to be both fun and political but has been going down the u bend for sometime now. It’s current incarnation isn't inclusive and doesn’t represent me as a tutti fruity queer woman. Good luck to whoever, if anyone, picks up the mess made but it’s about time Pride London had a shake down. There have been calls for the whole board to resign and a full investigation to what went so wrong but once Saturday is over and the discarded whistles thrown to the curb, I can’t see many people bothering to care. Many will go back to pictures of LOL cats, the new series of X-Factor and a puddle of apathy.

My ideal Pride would be a peaceful, positive march, honoring those with less rights than our own and highlighting the inequality of LGBTQI people  (yes it's pretty darn good in the UK right now but we've still a way to go). 

This would be followed by a huge party full of queers, twinks, BDSM, bears, drag artists, scallys, suits, geeks, clones, jocks, goths, average folk, fashion kids, women, men, gender benders, intersex, cis and trans people, artists, disabled, young, pretty, ugly, old, fat, thin, round, square, black, white, purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red and all those many glorious shades in between (basically, people) where everyone can shake off their labels and guests to our glorious capital can sample the wonderful diversity we have.

 

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P.S. Unfortunately I won’t be mincing in a shopping trolley as I've got work commitments outside London but all the best who do attend. Be safe, be proud and please be nice to the volunteers.

P.P.S. To the annonoymous person who called me an attention seeking narcissist on my last blog. Well yes...it’s my job. What part of the Holestar memo did you not get?