I’ve just turned on BBC and watched the Beijing Olympics closing ceremony. Wowsers.
Straight after, the London 2012 Party on The Mall is now on.
It being hosted by the BBC, they’ve chosen some of the most mundane, safe British acts to ‘showcase’ British talent; The Feeling, Will Young, Scouting for Girls, Il Divo, Katherine Jenkins (whose screeching goes right through me), James Morrison and Heather Small will no doubt be wheeled out soon.
London is one of the cultural capitals of the world and we’re going to have the world’s eyes on us when we host the Olympics in four years. We’re not going to have the budget the Chinese have spent on their amazing opening and closing ceremonies but are we going to play it safe just so we look nice and respectable? Who actually organises the acts for these things, the same people who book the acts for The Royal Variety Performance? Nice, middle of the road acts that Grannies and middle class suburbanites approve of?
Where are the edgier British acts? Wiley, Estelle, and Dizzee Rascal have spent time high in the charts recently, where are they? Probably too ‘urban‘. What about Girls Aloud (too sexy), Amy Winehouse (too risky), even Radiohead or The Klaxons (too experimental).
Sending Leona Lewis (who yes has a great voice but is blandness personified) over to Beijing sums it up really. Nice symmetry that she’s from Hackney (the hosting borough for London 2012) but does she really represent British creativity and talent? She doesn’t write her own material, performs paint by numbers ballads and came from a televised talent competition which typifies how talent is cultivated in Britain right now. Athens closed with Bjork. Nuff said.
Come 2012, I hope that London is able to show the world that we’re not all nice, safe, manufactured and dull.
The Olympics has already destroyed the warehouses in Stratford where many creatives lived and worked, Hackney galleries are going down and the regeneration going on in the area is forcing poorer people out of the area to make way for fancy apartments and soulless shopping centres.
I hope not but I feel we’re losing the edgy diversity that brings artists and creative’s from around the world to London in the name of a three week event that might end up embarrassing us.
For now, lets cringe to Scouting for Girls doing ‘London’s Calling’ and The Feeling performing Bowies ‘Heroes’…..
My article 'Defining Sexuality' in g3 magazine
I've been back in the UK for almost two and a half years and have exhibited as an artist, performed and DJed fairly consistently since returning from Vienna. I'm no star but fortunate to have the opportunity to showcase what I do.
Getting the validation of the press is not on my agenda but if the Sunday Times have listed me as a celebrity (something which I certainly am not...yes I ride a Mercedes on a daily basis...it's the number 73 bus), surely a little mention in the queer press wouldn't go amiss.
As I don't aim my work at a singular demographic (in an aim to appear accessible to all regardless of sexual , gender or cultural predilection), I guess it's tricky to 'pin me down'. I'm a mistress of many trades, endorse non conformity, fabulousness and not an artist revelling in "wimmin's" issues or a singer/songwriter warbling about an ex, cats, Birkenstocks and mortgage payments...
Anyway....g3 magazine (a free monthly lesbesian publication) finally came 'round and asked me to write an article of my choosing. I decided to write about sexuality. Its in this months issue on the penultimate page.
Defining and labelling sexuality can be a tricky affair. It took me a long time to come out to myself. I spent years trying to be conventionally heterosexual and despite being in the Army where there were gay girls a go-go I denied my lust for the ladies out of fear.
After leaving, I rethought what I wanted and decided to live my life for me by not conforming to anyone's ideals and have done ever since with my career, lifestyle and sex life.
Most of the time, I identify sexually as 'queer' or simply 'sexual'. I don't want my sexuality pigeon holed as I consider it to be undefined. I don't consider myself a lesbian. I may currently have a female partner but would never rule out being with a man again. I prefer candy floss to lollypops but why exclude any types of candy at the sweetshop? Unfortunately I've known women who identify as lesbian be rejected by their community when they have an affair with a man; their gay gold club card ripped up and are booted out of the sisterhood.
Calling yourself bisexual is less definite but can raise mistrust from both hetero and homosexual communities. The term suggests that who you are having sex with is temporary and you'll eventually revert to the other gender, so that label doesn't suit me either.
I believe as human beings, we're bisexual by nature. How far we slide up and down the scale of gay and straight as a lifestyle is down to personal choice or social conditioning. I've heard gay men and women say they'd never, ever go with a member of the opposite sex as if the suggestion is repulsive but it's hard to know if this is because of genuine preference or sexual politics.
I applaud and support those who continue to assert gay rights and equality and am grateful that I live in a time where I can pretty much be who I want yet perhaps its time for a new 'ism' to describe indistinct sexuality. A term that says "I have sex with people I fancy and want to, not by what is expected by my lifestyle". But then again, should it be necessary to define ourselves for others?
I'm very out about my ambiguous sexuality and by being so, can hopefully encourage young people questioning their sexuality that it really doesn't matter who you let near your nether regions. You don't have to conform to stereotypes or rules and you call yourself whatever you want, just be safe and ideally happy.
(Click to enlarge)
Getting the validation of the press is not on my agenda but if the Sunday Times have listed me as a celebrity (something which I certainly am not...yes I ride a Mercedes on a daily basis...it's the number 73 bus), surely a little mention in the queer press wouldn't go amiss.
As I don't aim my work at a singular demographic (in an aim to appear accessible to all regardless of sexual , gender or cultural predilection), I guess it's tricky to 'pin me down'. I'm a mistress of many trades, endorse non conformity, fabulousness and not an artist revelling in "wimmin's" issues or a singer/songwriter warbling about an ex, cats, Birkenstocks and mortgage payments...
Anyway....g3 magazine (a free monthly lesbesian publication) finally came 'round and asked me to write an article of my choosing. I decided to write about sexuality. Its in this months issue on the penultimate page.
Defining and labelling sexuality can be a tricky affair. It took me a long time to come out to myself. I spent years trying to be conventionally heterosexual and despite being in the Army where there were gay girls a go-go I denied my lust for the ladies out of fear.
After leaving, I rethought what I wanted and decided to live my life for me by not conforming to anyone's ideals and have done ever since with my career, lifestyle and sex life.
Most of the time, I identify sexually as 'queer' or simply 'sexual'. I don't want my sexuality pigeon holed as I consider it to be undefined. I don't consider myself a lesbian. I may currently have a female partner but would never rule out being with a man again. I prefer candy floss to lollypops but why exclude any types of candy at the sweetshop? Unfortunately I've known women who identify as lesbian be rejected by their community when they have an affair with a man; their gay gold club card ripped up and are booted out of the sisterhood.
Calling yourself bisexual is less definite but can raise mistrust from both hetero and homosexual communities. The term suggests that who you are having sex with is temporary and you'll eventually revert to the other gender, so that label doesn't suit me either.
I believe as human beings, we're bisexual by nature. How far we slide up and down the scale of gay and straight as a lifestyle is down to personal choice or social conditioning. I've heard gay men and women say they'd never, ever go with a member of the opposite sex as if the suggestion is repulsive but it's hard to know if this is because of genuine preference or sexual politics.
I applaud and support those who continue to assert gay rights and equality and am grateful that I live in a time where I can pretty much be who I want yet perhaps its time for a new 'ism' to describe indistinct sexuality. A term that says "I have sex with people I fancy and want to, not by what is expected by my lifestyle". But then again, should it be necessary to define ourselves for others?
I'm very out about my ambiguous sexuality and by being so, can hopefully encourage young people questioning their sexuality that it really doesn't matter who you let near your nether regions. You don't have to conform to stereotypes or rules and you call yourself whatever you want, just be safe and ideally happy.
(Click to enlarge)
Ridiculous celebrity obsession
I finally handed in my Masters thesis two weeks ago. Its title, 'The Insanity of Modern Celebrity' is named after a series of shows I've performed about the subject of celebrity culture (next part, 'Deluded' premieres at Bistrotheque on Tues 17th). Celebrity culture is something I've spent the last two years critically studying so think I'm well placed to have an informed opinion on it.
Last night I was 'Wardrobe Mistress' for the dressing up box at Smash N Grab night at Punk which is known to be frequented by celebrities. (I must here make the distinction between a star and celebrity, the former often being known and celebrated for their talent or achievement, the later for lesser accomplishments).
Early in the evening, a group of tourists came over to have their photo taken with me ("Ooooh Tranny!" It makes for a 'look what we saw in London photo' I guess) and later in the night one of them slid up to me and the conversation went like this;
Drunk tourist girl: Where are all the celebrities?
Me: Excuse me?
Her: Where are the celebrities?
Me: Is that why you came here tonight?
Her: Yes. Where are all the celebrities?
Me: Hun, I find it really quite sad that you came here just for that.
Her: But where are theeeeeeey?
Me: Probably at home, avoiding people like you.
So rather than go out with the intention of having a good time and enjoy London with her friends, she went to the venue just because she thought there was a chance of rubbing shoulders with someone who appears in the press. Wow.
Model Agyness Deyn was in the club, having a boogie and night out with her mates. For some reason, some people were heckling her. Just because she is a famous, isn't she entitled to have a knees up like the rest of us? At kick out time, she was a little worse for wear and the paps outside went into a frenzy, shouting and snapping away. A TV camera turned up out of nowhere, two mopeds chased her car and the whole spectacle was quite unnerving.
In my drunken state (I'm not much of a drinker but free drinks make it too easy), the whole thing made me angry and shouted "leave her alone, get a job or a conscious you fuckers". How butch.
Photos of her leaving the club appeared on the front cover and inside today's The London Paper (a daily free paper whose centre pages feature celebrities). It's bizarre to witness something quite inane being published as so-called news.
The abundance of celeb based media seem to focus on a core group of London party girls at the moment; Lilly Allen, Kate Moss, Agyness Deyn, Kelly Osbourne, Peaches and Pixie Geldof, Kimberly Stewart (two of them models and the others famous by association) and of course Amy Winehouse (who certainly has talent but its sad she's doing the Billie Holiday/Janis Joplin model of destruction). Kate Moss used to have a mysterious air about her but seeing her so often in the press in these celebrity obsessed times, she and those like her loose their sparkle and what makes them publicly interesting in the first place.
Of my least favourite professions, the paparazzi are up there with traffic wardens and those people who check peoples tickets on the bus (who gang raid London's bendy buses and appear to take great pleasure in pulling people off who haven't swiped their Oyster cards. It's ridiculous how many police they have with them. Their services are required elsewhere, not standing around bloody bus stops). It could be said that they are only just doing their jobs but they have a choice. I studied photography for five years and no amount of money could persuade me to hang around outside clubs and hunt celebrities for the possibility of getting 'that' shot bought and published by the press.
I was photographed by the 'razzi once in Vienna, they are such hateful and rude people. A gang of them aggressively tried to make me pose in ways that suited them so I walked off. I don't mind posing for photos but not when I'm barked at.
Why anyone would aspire to be papped and famous for merely being famous, without any kind of achievement baffles me. But as the new series of Big Brother has just started on Channel 4, it's obvious that there are many fervently wanting just that.
I've got so many opinions on all this but I just wrote a damn thesis about it and this rant is starting to turn into a prologue to it!
If you're in London on Tuesday (17th June), come down and see my new show 'Deluded' as part of Under Construction 3 at Bistrotheque. I'll lip synch, act, do costume changes and maybe sing for you!
x
I do DVNO...video and stuff
So I was out and about in London town filming an art concept piece about how I’m perceived by others and decided to do a few takes doing a lip synch; DVNO by Justice. The original video by the Ed Banger in-house artist, So Me is well crafted and gorgeous, this is just a bit of fun.
DVNO is a great pop song and though its no longer seen as cool to like Justice because they’ve gone a little mainstream, I still think there are one of the best and most exciting musical acts of the new millennium. I find people jumping the Ed Banger boat just because they are reaching more people ridiculous. I guess its down to the nature of how music is shared these days, its so quick that there is always a new bandwagon to jump on. Gone are the days of trawling through record shops to find something months before it became ‘big, now its just right click and save.
Regardless, I remain faithful to Pedro Winter and his stable of fine fillies.
The main reason for filming was intentionally about the performance artists who stand on boxes on the South Bank and Covent Garden. I intended to go down and ridicule them somewhat but found once I was there in drag, I had a new-found respect for what they do (and hell, they make a lot of money so good luck to them). I wanted to concentrate on the audiences response to my presence and not me but this was difficult to get as once they realised they were being filmed, would act differently so I decided to refocus on me and did a series of vogue poses and cat walks.
Filming in tourist areas was a little 'safe' as there are many people dressed up and acting ridiculously so my being there wasn’t particularly fascinating. I suppose I should do it in places where folk like me aren’t typically prancing around, like Tumbridge Wells or Dalston market. Then again, I should probably go back to ‘her’ birth place and do it there, Vienna.
Holestar the artist has been around for about 10 years now but Holestar the Tranny with A Fanny (I should trademark that) is a mere 5 year old.
When I came up with and starting developing the idea, it was all about gender exploration and subversion, but ‘she’ became a fully formed character and took on a life on of her own. I refer to her in the third person as I, Holestar the artist is the Dr Frankenstein to my drag personae which is my monster, my creation, yet she is me and I her. She as a piece of work isn't specifically about gender for me any more. My initial intention was to question and play with what is seen and perceived yet the audience naturally still view my creation as a gender study which it is but not as much as it was (am I making sense here?)
Anyway...I've got a busy summer coming up; festivals, performance art, live gigs, an interesting new night that I'm involved with and finishing my Fine Art Masters. I'll keep you posted no doubt.
PS The public and private responses to my blogs are surprising. Its just me sat here spewing my brain out and is flattering that people actually read my nonsense so thanks!
DVNO is a great pop song and though its no longer seen as cool to like Justice because they’ve gone a little mainstream, I still think there are one of the best and most exciting musical acts of the new millennium. I find people jumping the Ed Banger boat just because they are reaching more people ridiculous. I guess its down to the nature of how music is shared these days, its so quick that there is always a new bandwagon to jump on. Gone are the days of trawling through record shops to find something months before it became ‘big, now its just right click and save.
Regardless, I remain faithful to Pedro Winter and his stable of fine fillies.
The main reason for filming was intentionally about the performance artists who stand on boxes on the South Bank and Covent Garden. I intended to go down and ridicule them somewhat but found once I was there in drag, I had a new-found respect for what they do (and hell, they make a lot of money so good luck to them). I wanted to concentrate on the audiences response to my presence and not me but this was difficult to get as once they realised they were being filmed, would act differently so I decided to refocus on me and did a series of vogue poses and cat walks.
Filming in tourist areas was a little 'safe' as there are many people dressed up and acting ridiculously so my being there wasn’t particularly fascinating. I suppose I should do it in places where folk like me aren’t typically prancing around, like Tumbridge Wells or Dalston market. Then again, I should probably go back to ‘her’ birth place and do it there, Vienna.
Holestar the artist has been around for about 10 years now but Holestar the Tranny with A Fanny (I should trademark that) is a mere 5 year old.
When I came up with and starting developing the idea, it was all about gender exploration and subversion, but ‘she’ became a fully formed character and took on a life on of her own. I refer to her in the third person as I, Holestar the artist is the Dr Frankenstein to my drag personae which is my monster, my creation, yet she is me and I her. She as a piece of work isn't specifically about gender for me any more. My initial intention was to question and play with what is seen and perceived yet the audience naturally still view my creation as a gender study which it is but not as much as it was (am I making sense here?)
Anyway...I've got a busy summer coming up; festivals, performance art, live gigs, an interesting new night that I'm involved with and finishing my Fine Art Masters. I'll keep you posted no doubt.
PS The public and private responses to my blogs are surprising. Its just me sat here spewing my brain out and is flattering that people actually read my nonsense so thanks!
Sex tips for boys who have sex with girls....
I love men. Ever since I was 3 and befriended Spenser next door, they've always been my favourite gender to be friends with. On the flip…they are the worst when it comes to intimacy, relationships and sex.
I term my sexuality as queer or metamorphosexual (big nod to Annie Sprinkle). I don't wish to define my gender output ("I'm not a woman, I'm not a man, I am something that you'll never understand"…cheers Prince) or sexuality. I've known too many women who have been rejected by hypocritical lesbian communities when they have decided to have it off with men. I find this abhorrent and actively support anyone who wants to play with their sexuality as long as its safe, sane and consensual.
I guess society finds it easier to judge if you label yourself as one thing or another and while I tend to lean towards women sexuality, I wouldn't rule out a bit of boy fun.
Then again, I haven't had sex with a man for 7 years. I've enjoyed sex with men in the past but yet to find one who really does it for me like a women can.
I recently came out of a relationship and not looking for another at the moment but seeking a 'friend with benefits'. Someone that I can have a laugh and hang out with but not commit to and be able to date others. This seems like the perfect arrangement because if you set this out from the beginning, nobody gets hurt (unless one falls for the other and its not reciprocated).
For the first time in a long time, I find myself fancying a bit of man sex. Unfortunately, men and women are different creatures and messages tend to get mixed.
I had a fumble with someone recently that I probably shouldn't have and while in that kind of situation (and despite my Dominatrix day job), I tend to get a bit cuddly and slushy (I'm crippling the illusion that Dominatrix's are bitches all the time…truth is, none of them are. Sorry for destroying the fantasy ). This was read as me being more emotionally involved and wanted more when in fact, my loins were screaming out for a seeing too and they were the most available person that I trusted.
Men who have set out for a one nighter often get frustrated with women who get clingy after they've had sex, but they forget that for a large percentage of women, there is a biological thing going on where they feel attached to someone they've been intimate with even if they don't rationally see a future in a relationship.
I may be out of line here but men do generally think with their dicks. I believe that to be biological and not something to blame them for…just the way it is. Its there hanging around out front all the time…it's a matter of control.
Gay men have the casual sex situation locked down. The cottage/cruising/sauna culture allows men to have nameless, faceless sex without emotional connection. Unfortunately, the same doesn't exist for women (and I'm not particularly keen on places like the Candy Bar…I don't want to be forced to listen to RnB and funky house to get laid).
It makes perfect sense for people have sex with their own gender; we know our bodies quite well and are more likely to be able to handle someone's body that is similar to our own. Just because men and women slot into each other doesn't mean its going to be any good, we're different creatures.
I guess we all just want to be loved at the end of the day and sex is always better with someone you love but if you are able to have that at home with someone who understands that you want random (and safe) sex elsewhere, all the better. (Saying that, I've always been monogamous when in a relationship, doesn't mean I haven't thought about it though).
Now then…the reason why I initially wanted to write my own 'sex tips for boys who have sex with girls' was because of my own past experiences and a slight hope if any boys read it…they might go out and service my sisters better. A lot of men think they are the hotness when it comes to sex but a few tips can't hurt eh boys?
So……….
1 - Its always awkward to bring up in conversation beforehand but don't act like it might be more than a one nighter if you have no intention of seeing her after just because you're hard and want to get it on. Try and engage the brain for just a little while or it might be more hassle later.
2 - Kissing. Getting it right is a major bonus. I've often got more out of and have a better memory of a really good passionate snog than full sex.
3 - Do not put the girls hand on your crotch when you have a hard on. We're not stupid, we know you are excited, we'll get to it eventually. Only slightly worse than this is the clumsy pushing of the head to the crotch. Urgh.
4 - Some girls like a good hard shag. Some girls like it soft. Some like a bit of both. (I'm more of the later myself). Ask or work it out from her reactions.
5 - A large majority of women reach orgasm by stimulation of the clitoris. This is fact so learn how to use it. Biggest tip I can give you here is to read The Hite Report by Shere Hite. I've convinced quite a few folk both male and female to read this book and all have said their sex life has benefited. It should be taught on the international curriculum. (Hell, I didn't know my body was capable of 9 orgasms in one session until I read it.)
6 - You can ask her to do something differently if its not working for you. Unless she's a complete cow she'll respond to it and probably learn from it.
7 - Those women in porn who are screaming through mere penetration are being paid to put on a convincing show. Look at the close up, she's probably dry down there, ie she's not actually enjoying it. Get her steamed up before entering all guns blazing.
8 - Most woman don't care about the size of your knob as long as its clean. The G-spot is only a few inches inside so size doesn't really matter except aesthetically.
9 - Good personal hygiene is a must (unless you are planning to score with a crack head). BO or a cheesy knob is a major turn off. (My own are also ear wax, really smelly feet and bad teeth).
10 - Make some noise and not just the ceremonial grunt at the end. It reassures us you like what we are doing. Some girls like dirty talk, some don't but we all want to hear you are enjoying yourself. And if she compliments you, say something nice back, its only polite.
11- No matter how gorgeous she is, most girls have hang ups about their body. If you want to keep her perky and she’s uncomfortable about you touching her stomach/bum/tits/whatever, don't and aim for something else.
12 - Always play it safe and use protection even if she's on the pill. A trip to the clap clinic isn't fun and does sod all for anyone's self esteem.
13 - Don't roll over and go to sleep/get up and go home as soon as you've come. After working as a Domme for over 8 years, I've watched in fascination how quickly men change after the money shot (though not by my hand. I don't do any sex acts with my clients though they are welcomed to shuffle themselves at the end). Feeling regret or awkwardness after you've got jiggy with it is all good and well but behaving like a twat after makes the girl feel like shit and karma's a bitch.
14- We don't all want to marry you (though some girls do get a bit psycho). If we want a cuddle afterwards, its to reassure you still like us.
15 - If you are contacting her through a web site, sending pictures of your knob, calling her a slut, how you want to make sexy with her or using txt spk might not get you far. Men who are looking for casual sex out number women tremendously (you only have to go to a sex club or see the casual relationships section on gumtree.com to see by how much) so you need to make an impression to stand out from the other pussy hungry boys out there. A good head shot, some witty banter and interesting info about you is more likely to get a response.
16 - Girls who want casual, no strings attached, consensual sex are not slags. Social conditioning tells us that women are either whores or wives but this is a pile of outdated, defunct biblical arse and is unjust. Women are entitled to a good seeing to as much as men. Unfortunately, a common label doesn't exist for a man who sleeps around but plenty for women.
This is a new millennium and as long as people are playing safe, keeping it consensual and nobody is getting emotionally screwed, just physically…I can't see a problem.
I'm probably going to get a barrage of abuse but this is not a definitive list. And if you're offended and don't take this as the friendly bit of advice its intended to be….well you probably have a porn collection so vast that the idea of having sex with a real women scares the be Jesus out of you.
Right, I'm off to find a 'friend with benefits' and I don't care what it has between its legs!
x
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